It's that time of year when romance is in the air. But this Valentine's Day, along with taking your significant other to dinner, I have another suggestion: How about also inviting your partner to an open, honest discussion about money? No doubt, a relationship begins with romance and love; however, to my mind, part of that commitment involves a financial partnership. And that gets to the heart of what I'm talking about here.

Of course in an ideal world, couples would examine and define their financial relationship early on. If you haven't done that, don't despair. The good news is that it's never too late to discuss (and agree on) your financial life.

OPPOSITES ATTRACT

Have you ever noticed that your free-spending friend is married to a penny-pincher? Or that one partner is much more cautious than the other? It seems the adage "opposites attract" applies just as much to our attitudes and behaviors around money as it does to everything else. Truth be told, I've yet to meet a couple who decided to settle down together because they had compatible financial views.

Yet somehow in every committed relationship, money comes to the fore - how to spend it, how to save it and how to invest it. In fact, disagreements and misunderstandings about money are one of the leading causes of strife. In order to have an egalitarian relationship, it's essential that each partner thoroughly understands the big picture and participates in every major financial decision. And the only way to do that is to talk calmly, clearly and frequently.

SOME GROUND RULES

There is no question that financial conversations take some introspection as well as a fair amount of planning. Money has many psychological overlays - from our childhoods, past relationships, careers, you name it - that the resulting feelings can interfere with positive communication.

Here are a few suggestions to keep your discussion productive:

- Start by making a date. It may not be the most romantic date you'll ever have, but it could be one of the most rewarding.

- Pick a place that's comfortable for both of you.

- Stick to the subject. Don't let tangential issues sidetrack you. - Be aware of your tone. Stay calm and don't preach.

- Keep others out of your discussion. Using your friends' or family's opinions will simply make your mate defensive.

- Instead of confronting your partner with a problem, try presenting a possible solution.

- Be ready to listen as well as to compromise.

JOINING YOUR FINANCIAL LIVES

Even in relationships where money isn't a source of conflict, there's often one person who is more involved than the other. That's fine, just as long as the other person isn't left in the dark.

Like so much of life, merging your money requires building a system that respects one another's individuality while ensuring the welfare of the team. Essentially, every couple has to ask themselves some key financial questions: Continued...